Short for "preparation day." Missionaries have one day of the week set aside for preparatory activities such as housecleaning, shopping, laundry, letter-writing, and, oh yes, recreation.

Officially, missionaries are supposed to wear their suits and ties on p-day, except when participating in sporting activities. In reality, there are no ties in sight on p-day. Officially, p-day starts at 6:30 am and ends at 6:30 pm. In reality, the fun often starts at 10:30 the night before, and doesn't end until until late in the p-day night.

Slimmest of the four standard works of the L.D.S. Church. This volume of scripture contains not only slightly altered rehashings of the early chapters of the Book of Genesis in the guise of first-person accounts by Moses and Abraham, but also the official eyewitness account of Joseph Smith's First Vision.

This volume's Book of Abraham in particular is interesting, because it affords the only example of a still-extant ancient document supposedly translated by Joseph Smith. The papyrus scroll from which this book was "translated" came from an Egyptian mummy and fell into Smith's hands as a traveling exhibit passed through his town. Smith proclaimed the text a record kept by Abraham, and proceeded to produce a translation.

When experts later showed that the scroll mentioned nothing whatsoever of Abraham, apologists began claiming that the scroll had merely prompted a revelation of things Abraham had written and that Smith hadn't actually translated anything as such.

A "pearl of great price" indeed.

Underworld slang for "prison." Derived through an uncannily appropriate shortening of the word "penitentiary."

(Don't tell me you didn't know this already.)

Derogatory name for the stereotypical young Mormon male.

See also Molly Mormon.

A coffee substitute made from barley and enjoyed by a good many Mormons. Yes, a "hot drink."

See also Word of Wisdom, the.

See Benson, Ezra Taft.

In L.D.S. doctrine, the authority to act in the name of God. Priesthood authority is passed from one priesthood holder to another through the laying on of hands, and every priesthood holder can trace his line of authority back through Joseph Smith to Jesus Christ himself. Every worthy male in the Church is given priesthood.

Also used generically to refer to the entire group of priesthood holders as a body, though less pointedly so than in most other churches.

See also Aaronic Priesthood, Melchizedek Preisthood.

A sort of Sunday School for Mormon children aged three through eleven.

In L.D.S. doctrine, one chosen by God to receive direct revelation.

While apostles of modern times are ordained as "prophets, seers, and revelators," only the president of the Church is referred to as "the prophet" and is authorized to receive revelation on behalf of all God's children.