Pole. No, not as in an Eastern European, but as in a tree trunk tossed as a trial of strength in a Scotland.

Though a Scot would have to be pretty strong to toss an Eastern European, in my humble opinion.

To offer a Church job to someone, through inspiration from God; e.g., "Brother Gilmore, the Lord has seen fit to call you to the position of Young Men's President."

Derived from the Biblical passage Matthew 20:16: "For many be called, but few chosen."

Also, the official notice of having been called.

See also calling, mission call.

Any position of responsibility within the Mormon Church, from nursery attendant right up to prophet. Holders of such positions are said to have been "called" by God -- by inspiration through the duly constituted member of the bureaucratic chain.

Missionaries receive their callings directly from the President of the Church, who purportedly receives revelation as to where in the world each one should be sent.

An early Mormon settlement in southern Alberta, and site of one of the oldest L.D.S. temples still in operation.

Church founded in the state of New York in 1830 by Joseph Smith, Jr., the basic tenet of which is that Christ's true gospel and priesthood authority were lost from the Earth shortly after his death, and then restored through Smith by divine revelation and angelic messengers.

Though it is purportedly the exact same gospel and church that Christ established during his ministry, the rather long designation is used to distinguish the modern Church from its ancient counterpart, which was presumably called "The Church of Jesus Christ of Saints Living in the Meridian of Time."

Or maybe "The Church of Jesus Christ" was already taken.

A missionary's assigned partner. A missionary must remain with his or her companion constantly -- except in the bathroom and in bed. This is to prevent sin -- though it is just as likely to encourage it.

Often shortened to comp.

See also companionship.

A unit consisting of two partnered missionaries who spend all their time together and are assigned to proselyte in a specific area.

See also companion.

See Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, the.

Any of a broad spectrum of regularly scheduled meetings where Mormons in positions of responsibility get together to compare notes, swap gossip, and step on each other's toes as much a possible where their duties overlap.

Another in the theoretically infinite series of ways in which Church membership crowds out time for any other pursuit.

A thing Mormons vehemently insist they don't belong to.

A very large space in the exact center most Mormon meetinghouses, suitable for stage plays, banquets, Scout ceremonies, blood drives, wedding receptions, and so forth -- though most often used for basketball games.

Comparable to "holy of holies."

No relation to "cult."

According to the Book of Mormon, a "more especially useful" beast living in ancient America. See note for "curelom."

See also elephant, horse, ass.

According to the Book of Mormon, a "more especially useful" beast living, along with cumoms and elephants, in ancient America. No one knows for certain what a curelom or cumom looked like, but apologists have speculated that they may have been mammoths or mastodons, and that Joseph Smith knew no English word to use as translations from the Reformed Egyptian.

And unicorns might fly out of my butt.

See also horse, ass.